Top 10 Rampage WTF Moments

by Masato Toys

Since the news of Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson’s departure from the UFC, the possibility that his fighting days may be coming to a close looms on every MMA fan’s mind.

We all have our favorite memories of Rampage’s fights, from trying to throw Sakuraba right out of the ring, to beating Chuck Liddell in Japan with Dana White commentating ringside, to his legendary ‘Rampage Slam’ on Ricardo Arona… but we at GDCMMA thought he also deserves a stroll down memory lane for his entertaining antics outside of the ring as well.

Here are our favorite Top-10 WTF Rampage moments (so far):

 

1. Rampage dry-humps a real live Tiger

Amazingly, the source, audio, and context for the short video has still yet to be discovered. Nevertheless, the clip went absolutely viral throughout the online MMA community and will go down as one of Rampage’s greatest WTF moments.

 

 

2. Freestyle rap session in the London underground

While filming a stroll in London’s extensive underground tunnels, Rampage came across a fantastic busker-duo of drums and flute. The beat was so inspiring that they kept the camera’s rolling, and Jackson began busting out some freestyle rap lyrics right there on the spot.

“I got my boy Dave Roberts cuz we love to shop, we got thangs and when we go we kick it like Cro-Cop”

 

 

3. Motorboating rogue whistle-blowing journalist Amber Lyon

Apparently, Rampage has an affinity for intelligent, strong-minded female journalists. After already dry-humping several lower-tier reporters, he thought he had hit the top with MMA journalist Karyn Bryant. But when he finally met a real independent warrior journalist like Amber Lyon, he just couldn’t hold back.

“Some people say that we MMA fighters put our life on the line when we step into the cage… and that’s true, we do. But she’s like really putting her life on the line, you know? She be sayin real important stuff that could get her killed, for real. For a pretty lady, you know – she got some big balls.”

 

 

4. Getting arrested at gunpoint on the freeway

After being pursued in his signature Rampage Monster Truck for over 5 minutes by Laguna Beach Police for a supposed vehicle hit-and-run, Rampage was eventually brought to a stop and arrested at gunpoint. The whole thing looked like a scene from Punk’d gone horribly wrong.

Suffering from severe sleep-deprivation and energy drinks, and believing sincerely that a friend of his was in mortal danger, Rampage claimed he did not know he was being chased, or even hit any vehicles. But he does remember “…driving over the median, almost hitting a woman at a bus bench on a sidewalk, driving on the wrong side of the road, and that something was wrong with one of the tires.”

 

 

5. Kicking the shit out of Anderson Cooper

In a purely coincidental encounter, CNN’s Anderson Cooper had caught up with Rampage in Seattle WA, and insisted to interview him. Rampage refused at first, but the reporter eventually convinced him to get a few words. When Cooper however began to insinuate that MMA might be responsible for violent incidents like the Aurora shooting, Rampage had to set him straight.

“That dude is lyin’ to us every day on television…. Every day! And I don’t get to punch him in the face, just once? That ain’t fair!”

 

 

6. ‘Page refuses to give Obama a haircut

Unbeknownst to most fans, Rampage used to work in a barbershop during his youth in Memphis. Coincidentally, Rampage was visiting his hometown on the same day Barack Obama was making local campaign tours for his 2012 re-election. Obama’s crew thought it would be a good photo-op to have Rampage give the President a haircut, but Rampage refused on the spot. Obama eventually left, trying to cover up the embarrassing debacle, but this photo leaked out backing up Rampage’s story.

“That man is a mass murderer – ain’t no two ways about it. And he don’t even go an do it himself! He sends kids and motherfuckin drones to do his dirtywork. That’s pussy. I ain’t cutting no hair for no pussy.”

 

 

7. Becoming Honorary Emperor of Ethiopia

Since the death of Haile Selassie I in 1975, the title of Emperor in Ethiopia has been abolished. However, having been said to be a direct descendent of Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, and being revered as a divine incarnation of God, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, and King of Kings by Rastafarians all over the world, the tradition of his lineage still greatly lives in the heart of Ethiopians and Rastas to this day. Upon a visit to the country, Rampage was invited by Selassie’s grandson, who is apparently a big fan, and was bestowed the title of ‘Honorary Emperor’ for 48 hours.

“Man, if the UFC treated it’s fighters even half as good as that, I’d stay for sure!”

 

 

8. The time he rode that grizzly bear

‘Nuff said.

 

 

9. Voluneetring to test new Tesla Free-Energy technology

When genius Nikola Tesla began developing a technology that could provide ‘Free Unlimited Energy’ to the world in the 1903, banking giant JP Morgan immediately cut his funding and created a giant smear campaign to discredit Tesla as a lunatic, even though he was the rightful inventor of alternating current, wireless telegraphy, neon lights, remote control, etc. Recently, there has been a huge wave of technological advancement in the re-creation of Tesla’s work, bringing humanity one step closer to finally extinguishing the oil and banking cabals from the earth, and entering an age of clean, free, harmonious civilization to all.

“Aaaawwwwwwwww, yeah, baby!

 

 

10. Participating in a Public Service Announcement by Masato Toys Inc to encourage kids to think critically, have an open mind, and to not believe everything you see in the media.